Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
