I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
