i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
