hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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