I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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