i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
