What tipped you off? The sombrero?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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