Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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