There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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