you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
