think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
