If i come over, it means nothing
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
