Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
