this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
