Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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