My room smells like vodka and shame
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
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