we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
