Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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