the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
