dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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