Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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