Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize