physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my being single is dangerous.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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