We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize