I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
