I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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