Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
