Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
