He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
