when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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