im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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