ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
