Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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