Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
