Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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