Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it's like iHOP with fire
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
