just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
