Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You are a genius and a whore.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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