maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
