Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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