there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
