Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
