Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
