I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
