I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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