I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When did angry sex become our thing?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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