I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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