I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
