he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
