DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
