so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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