Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
