By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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