Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
