you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize