I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
