Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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