So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
