Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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