I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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