i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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