Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
