I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Did I show you my penis last night?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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