so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
then he tried to convert me to islam
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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